Hold on

Me: Hi. I'm a reporter calling from.... I'm just reading your press release about the student that brought the Napalm to school. It says "initial investigations showed there were no injuries." Was anyone injured?

Desk Sgt: Uhhhh.....I don't.....Hold on.

(Muffled mumbling)

Desk Sgt: Nope. As far as we know no one was injured.

Me: It says one of the students brought the Napalm and another ignited it. Which one was arrested?

Desk Sgt: Uhhhhh....hold on.

(More mumbling)

Desk Sgt: I'm not sure.

Me: Well, did anyone have to be evacuated?

Desk Sgt: Hold on.

(Mumble, mumble, mumble)

Desk Sgt: Nah. No one had to be evacuated.

Me: OK. Thanks.

Then I called the Fire Department and they filled me in. Some kid brought a styrophone cup full of Napalm and his friend set it on fire. It was a really small fire and fire fighters disposed of the cup and Napalm.

"These kids now days!" the fire fighter I spoke to said in exasperation.

"I was about to say that," I replied. "Then I realized how old that would make me sound."

Fire fighter laughs. "Yeah, me too. Ha ha ha. So we don't need to print that part."