Ugh

Yesterday, I got a terrible hair cut. Horrible. The bangs are all choppy and to add more "dimension" she cut the hair on the top of my head choppish too. But the sides are long and layered. I feel like a Lesbian with a bad hair cut. I didn't like the hair cut from the moment I saw it shaping up in the mirror and things only got worse when my hair dresser responded to my concerns with exasperation.

"I thought we were on the same page, Karen. It looks cute."

"I don't like how the sides just hang straight down, like a helmet. It looks weird."

"No. What do you mean?"

"Can't we make it shorter? Just layer it more and make it shorter?"

"No, you don't want me to make it shorter. I can't put the hair back you know, once it's gone it's gone. I know that if I cut it shorter you'll still hate it and then what can I do? At least this way you'll still have the length."

"But you cut it shorter before and I liked it."

"Karen." Sigh. "I don't know what to do. Have I ever led you astray before?"

"No."

"Well then. Just trust me."

"Fine." Sigh.

"Look, how's this then? If you don't like it when I'm done you don't have to pay me for it. You can pay me later if you like it."

"No, no I'm not sayng---"

Things got worse after I pretended to resign myself to the haircut, telling myself that it wouldn't be so bad and no matter how bad it was it was just a haircut and would grow out.

My hair dresser finished, snorted and said, "My GOD. Your hair looks so much BETTER now. Thank GOD you came in."

"Yeah, yeah, you're right," I muttered, only half convinced.

She must have heard the hesitation in my voice and this caused her to launch into a lecture.

"Do you blow dry your hair?"

"Uh...sometimes...uh, not really."

"Sometimes?"

"Yeah, not really."

"Well how do you dry your hair then?"

"I just towel dry it."

"Do you use product in your hair?"

"Not really. Well I did a little, then I ran out."

Sigh. "Well, Karen. You can't just towel dry your hair and not do anything and expect it to get that nice, textured layered look. You HAVE to put product in it."

Then she went back to snipping layers.

"There. I put more layers. Now it should look layered even if you don't blow dry it."

"OK. You were right. It looks cute."

At this point, I just wanted her to shut up.

And the worse was yet to come since Chris was picking me up. Bad hair cuts make me cranky and when I'm cranky I'd rather sulk alone. I think we've been over this. Chris' reaction was nice and polite with veiled alarm because bangs make me look even younger and we're already self-conscious about the age thing.

But honestly, he said, it looks cute.

Then he shut up.

Which is all you can do really. Just as when someone asks you if they're fat, when someone doesn't like their haircut and just had an argument with the stylist, there's no proper response. You can't tell them they look cute, because they hate the cut, but if you tell them it looks awful they're liable to burst into tears and tear your eyeballs out.