Friday, October 01, 2004

Just call it quits already

Jane Paulie is the new Oprah -- only much, much worse.

Who's idea was it to give her her own talk show? She is a Saturday Night skit waiting to happen. But like all things abhorrent I can't bring myself to look away. (OK, so there are three remote controls in this house and I don't know which one changes the channel, which one is for the DVD player and which one will fuck up the TV beyond all repair).

Tonight she is talking to Metallica, the one time heavy metal band. They're reformed now. Why else would they be talking to Jane Paulie?

There's something disconcerting about watching the men who growled out "Enter Sandman" sit with their hands folded on their lap, hair shorn, chuckling politely at lame jokes. Their guitars are propped neatly against the plush stage seats. Somehow, I doubt there will be a performance. Oh, I can only hope there won't be a performance.