I draw the line at posting a picture of one

"The Praying mantis is a carnivorous insect that takes up a deceptively humble posture when it is searching for food. At rest, the mantis' front forelegs are held together in a posture resembling prayer or deep thought. These front legs are equipped with rows of sharp spikes that the mantis uses to hold its prey." -- "The Wonderful Praying Mantis"

I hate praying mantises. Their creepy red eyes. The way their mandables move when they chew. The way they rub their legs together like they're sharpening a pair of knives.

"They're harmless you know," Chris told me. "There's absolutely no way they could hurt you."

"Yeah? Well they cause me pyschological harm."

The mantis waits motionless for an appropriately sized insect (though larger mantises have been known to eat small reptiles and birds) to come within range. The mantis often patiently waits until the insect is close enough, then strikes with its forelegs, capturing the insect. However, sometime the mantis actually pursues the insect by creeping closer. It is surprising how slowly and fluidly the mantis can move. As the mantis approaches, it often sways back and forth, perhaps mimicing the foliage swaying in the breeze that it resembles. When the time is right, the mantis suddenly leans foward and its front legs snap out and grab the insect. --The Wonderful Praying Mantis

This one time, when I was a kid riding in the back seat of my dad's jeep, a praying mantis landed on the seat next to me.

"There's a grasshopper!" I screeched. "Stop the car!"

My dad scoffed at me and kept driving. "We'll get it out when we stop."

My brother, in the front seat, displayed signs of joy. "Oooh! A grasshopper!"

I shook and shivered and freaked out for the rest of the ride. When we stopped, my brother poked his head over my lap peered at the grasshopper and said, "That's not a grasshopper, that's a praying mantis!" and slammed the door shut, laughing at me from the other side.

This was my introduction to the hideous creature.

Praying mantises in North America are usually green or brown, and adult insects range in size from 2 to 6 inches. Common mantises in the United States include the Chinese Mantis and the Carolina Mantis. Mantis babies usually hatch from their frothy egg-masses in late April or May, or whenever the weather begins to warm up, depending on the region. Mantis babies are wingless, but otherwise resemble the adults (this is an important distinction in classifying insects). By August, mantises that have survived are adult, and by September or October, most of them die.--The Wonderful Praying Mantis

"Just don't think about it anymore," Chris said after I recounted the trapped-in-the-car-with-the-praying-mantis story. "Look at you, you're shaking."

"I know. I know I'm freaking out. You don't understand. I can see it in my mind. Like when I look at you, even you look like a praying mantis."

"What?! Oh, God..."

Note: If you want comfort and sympathy from your partner, do not compare him/her to an insect.

"Don't worry about it," Chris said. "You hardly ever go outside anyway."

Which is true.

It is also true that I work myself into frenzies on a regular basis.