Local

Carolyn's father was in town for a week and he took her to dinner one night. They had Greek food and watched Bosco the amazing one-man band play. The whole time, they got stares. Carolyn with her local girl tan in her short Hawaiian print skirt and tube top. Her dad, big and haole wearing slacks and with a camera glued to his hand. Finally, when Carolyn left to use the bathroom, some ladies approached her dad.

You should be ashamed of yourself, they told him. A man your age taking advantage of the local girls like that.

They thought Carolyn was his date. Or her sugar daddy.

On one level, those ladies were simply accusing Carolyn's dad of being a dirty old man. On another level, perhaps, they were thinking back to the days when Hawaiian women would swim out to the sailing ships and trade their bodies to the haole sailors in exchange for cloth, nails, whatever. And, they probably thought looking at Carolyn's dad, they've been exploiting our women ever since.

Only Carolyn is not local. She's from California and happens to be blessed with a great tan and ehu colored highlights. She also happens to look nothing like her father, who, frankly, fits the model of the big, white American male.

You can still get away with that here. Have a haole parent and still pass off as local. Just another beautiful mixed being in Hawaii's great melting pot.

Only Carolyn is not local.

The thing that happened to her and her father that night is just another highlight.

People here want to give Carolyn kamaaina discounts. They ignore her Valley Girl accent and break into pidgen around her. When she giggles and says she doesn't understand because SHE IS NOT LOCAL, they laugh and tell her that's OK. She's back home now and can rediscover her roots.

The local boys love her for her local looks. The haole boys love her for her local looks.

Everyone, it seems, has expectations of her.

She used to hang out with this one local guy a lot, until he told her he couldn't anymore because she only hung out with haole people (her co-workers).

No one here seems to be getting Carolyn. She's not haole. She's not local. She doesn't want kamaaina discounts (what kind of person DOESN'T want the kamaaina discount?!) in fact she feels guilty about being offered the kamaaina discount. One local boy is about the same as one haole boy to Carolyn.

How much clearer do we need to make this? The girl is obviously NOT LOCAL.

"People think I'm Hawaiian but I'm not," she said. "If I were a Hawaiian, I would be the biggest disgrace to the culture, I feel like, because I know NOTHING about it."

When people treat her like a local, Carolyn feels like a fraud.

Hawaii is changing. The west side of this island perhaps faster than anywhere else in the state (except maybe Maui). We are awash in haoles who just moved here from the mainland six months ago, or just bought a house to live here six months of the year. Yet they want kamaaina discounts I bet.

In a community where there are lots of non-locals demanding to BE LOCAL, I'll take a Carolyn any day. Someone who looks local but can say with some measure of annoyance and naiveness, I AM NOT LOCAL.