I need pennies people
The soda machine and I faced off and the soda machine won. I smoothed out my wrinkled dollar, inserted into the slot and...nothing.
The fucking machine was broken.
Damn you soda machine! I'll take my money elsewhere!
* * *
Two days earlier at the post office:
"That'll be $2," the postmaster said, after stamping the manilla envelopes containing my clips and resume. "Anything else you need?"
"Nah." Pause. "Well a sheet of stamps."
"OK."
"Do you have change for a $20?"
"Sure."
She gave me the change in $1 bills.
"Oh no. All of this is going to end up in the vending machine."
"That'll be $2," the postmaster said, after stamping the manilla envelopes containing my clips and resume. "Anything else you need?"
"Nah." Pause. "Well a sheet of stamps."
"OK."
"Do you have change for a $20?"
"Sure."
She gave me the change in $1 bills.
"Oh no. All of this is going to end up in the vending machine."
* * *
And stop staring at me, soda machine, everytime I happen to walk by. I can hear you laughing everytime I feed $1.25 worth of quarters down your greedy, metal throat.
So in conclusion:
Dear World,
Please stop giving me $1 and quarters in change. It is just too tempting and making me fat.
Dear World,
Please stop giving me $1 and quarters in change. It is just too tempting and making me fat.
And stop staring at me, soda machine, everytime I happen to walk by. I can hear you laughing everytime I feed $1.25 worth of quarters down your greedy, metal throat.
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