Bah humbug

One of my friends, and a former employee of the place where I work, e-mailed to say she and her fiance had gotten a beagle puppy and named him Bambu.

This caused much eye-rolling around the office.

"Beagles are loud," Brian said. "I had a neighbor who had a beagle and that thing would not shut up."

"Well, it's really cute," I replied. "But she says beagles are prone to being overweight."

"Fat and loud, sounds like a white trash dog," Bobby said.

This made Brian laugh.

It should come as no surprise, after reading the above conversation, that my department is the only one in the company that is NOT getting into the Christmas spirit.

In fact, almost as soon as I stepped into the office the other day, Brenda pounced on me with a petition that would require one of the other departments to turn down the volume on the stereo playing Christmas carols. Every single person in my department hated the Christmas carols and said it prevented them from thinking and was interfering with their writing. The only exception was me and the photographer, who sit farthest away from the music and so can barely hear it.

Even though I was nuetral on the topic I signed the petition because I didn't think it was unreasonable to have them lower the music. After all, they didn't have to shut it off completely.

Actually, the people in my department have been bitching about the Christmas music for years. DECADES perhaps. Maybe before I was even born. That's how long it's been going on. In fact, when my boss saw the boss from the other department hauling the Christmas tree in and one of the girls in another department walked by gushing, "Ooooh that tree smells good!" my boss glowered and muttered, "Oh great, now they're going to drag that stereo out and start playing that damned Christmas music too loud again."

Last year, I suppose in protest to all the Christmas joy, my boss taped a piece of paper on the aluminum pole next to my desk. It read, "Festivus Pole." And when one of the girls came skipping over with the red and green tinsel (I wouldn't be surprised if she was wearing a Santa hat too) and offered to decorate it, my boss shot out of seat and snapped, "No! No! There will be no decorating of the Festivus pole!"

The woman backed off, but as she went I heard her mutter, "When do we get to the Feats of Strength? I think someone should tackle him."

That pretty much sums up the dichotomy between us and every other department.